About Milo: Now aged 3 and a bit, Milo has continued to defy
experts` predictions that he will never have any real
quality of life, since being born 3 weeks premature in Bolton. When Milo was 6 months old he
began spitting and swearing at his mother, and speaking in a language he`d never known.
He also vomited pea soup down the front of his romper suit
- even though he hadn`t eaten any that day. Fearing that her
son may be harbouring repressed homosexual tendencies, Milo`s mother drove him out to a field
in the middle of the night and abandoned him there. Milo was eventually found and it was
confirmed that he was in fact possessed by two demons of unspeakable evil. Despite all this,
today Milo lives happily with his adoptive parents and saviours, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
UPDATE: Brad Pitt has inadvertently exorcised the demons from Milo`s body whilst
feeding him Haagen Dazs in a last ditch attempt to ween him off the breast... It turns out that the demons, Ben
and Jerry, live in fear of a far more powerful demon who happens to share his name with the
popular
ice cream brand, and consequentially fled Milo`s body in fear when they saw Brad Pitt
approaching
with his dessert spoon: they thought Haagen Dazs was coming to get them...
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